Veronica Bennett
“A GOOD MAN IS HARD TO FIND, ESPECIALLY ON THE INTERNET”
More American males now wear bracelets than eat stew.
I make a healthy chocolate spread that is similar to Nutella,
but only has 2 grams of sugar and 7 grams of protein.
Very grateful to be 15 years removed from my fedora phase:
I maxed out my charisma stat.
Would you believe me if I told you I licked the Queen Mary?
I’m known for my abnormally large tongue.
Let’s grab tacos.
More red flags than a Soviet military parade in the 80s:
Worryingly unathletic; stupid and strong enough to fight your dad;
not a furry—I just love dogs.
Dating me is like dating a guy with a beard.
No rizz, big heart.
Capitol riot face, but I swear that isn’t the vibe.
I won’t cheat on you except for when I travel.
Don’t be boring. I fall asleep easily.
I’m too confident for what I am:
humble enough to know I’m replaceable
but cocky enough to know it’s a downgrade.
I’ve got my own website.
What more can I say?
Tacos?
Veronica Bennett (she/they) is the creator of BULLSHIT LIT and a Best of the Net-nominated poet. She is banned from Tinder.
Contributor note: This poem is a cento made with lines found in men's dating app bios on Bumble, Feeld, Raya, and Hinge.
